Getting By with A LOT of Help from my Friends

I just hit the two-weeks-single mark and am continually re-learning my life as I know it. Right now I am particularly grateful to the amazing people in my life who I somehow earned the right to call my friends.

When you are in a long-term relationship, life tends to revolve around your two-some. The number of friends you see regularly dwindles. You have to coordinate with not only these friends' schedules, but also check in with your boyfriend to see when his plans are so you can have date nights, etc. Then, there are other commitments you are expected to be at for him (friends' birthdays, family events) so the number of nights you are free in a given week gets quite limited. And the first thing to get cut is your friends.

I have the type of friends who, even if I don't see them for months, when we do go out, it's like no time has passed. My friends have always been supportive of my relationship and understood that I had little free time. Still, I worried that we could lose touch, that I would be edged out for more available, less boyfriend-heavy pals. One of my biggest fears of being single was that I would realize I had lost my friends to the abyss of coupledom.

Yet, now that my schedule is wide open, and I am in dire need of company, my friends have squelched these fears and are really the driving force in getting me through this confusing, yet empowering, time in my life.

I'm learning a lot about friendship in the process. For one, I now know who my real friends are. I dreaded calling people to let them know what happened. I didn't really want to talk about it (repeating the story over and over still sounds dreadful), so I emailed the news to a group of my college girlfriends as a way of consolidating conversations. Some of these friends have yet to respond. I'm sure I'll get shit-talked for saying this, and maybe my news wasn't that earth-shattering or important, but I tangibly saw first-hand who actually gives a crap about me and who, well, doesn't. Good to know.

Secondly, regarding these friends who did respond to my email (and the others who found out in text-message or just this weekend when I wanted to give the news in person), I was not only reminded who my true friends are, but how truly lucky I am to be able to have the amazing friends I do. As said, I didn't want to tell people. I tried doing the Facebook-relationship-status-update-as-a-means-to-show-I-was-single thing, but it just felt desperate and awkward so I took it down. Plus, I didn't want to be a total downer and make people feel weird, like they had to console me. I hate being that person. I've always felt like the stable, on-the-right-track girl. I've defined myself that way. And now I seriously have no idea.

After reluctantly giving the news, I have gotten nothing but support, reinforcement I made the right decision (crucial), and invites for weekends in New York, San Diego, San Fransisco and Atlanta or nights out in L.A. One friend, who I hadn't spoken to since June, took me out for coffee right away and then preceded to invite me out to keep me busy. Those of you who came out to my reading on Friday, I can't even begin to tell you how much it meant to me to have you there. And then there's the general aura of love and support I've been feeling. No one was annoyed I didn't rush to text or call. No one told me I made a mistake.

Guys, I couldn't do this without you. Thank you. I love you dearly.