A Writerly Morning

7:00 a.m.: Alarm goes off. I grunt, listen to see if my roommate is up, then press snooze.

7:15 a.m.: Alarm goes off. I grunt, reason I should wake roommate up like I promised so we can actually get some work done. My apartment is freezing. Roommate and I trade gravelly "Morning"'s. I make a pot of coffee.

7:30: a.m.: Morning walk to the beach with roommate. We are trying to be economical. She drinks her coffee from one of our plastic cups and I sip from our tall ceramic mug with a daisy on it. We discuss the following: 1) What we will write today, 2) Our respective love lives, or lack thereof, 3) How much we love Janet Fitch and Dinah Lenney, 4) How funny we think we are.

8:35 a.m.: I pull the covers over my bed and plop on top with my laptop. I should start writing but my students have been emailing me, so I better answer their questions. Also, I need to write a colleague a recommendation for a job. And I have to schedule traffic school for that ticket I got in November. I should also check Craigslist for writing jobs, Facebook to see what I missed in the past 12 hours, and my horoscope (as well as those of my close friends, just in case).

8:50 a.m.: My room is freezing. I set up my space heater and switch it on before crawling back into bed.

9:00 a.m.: Those Bernard Cooper articles Dinah sent out are supposed to be really good, so I read those.

9:30 a.m.: Roommate leaves to teach yoga. I'm exhausted. And depressed over Bernard and Brian. I should probably shower. I also need to exfoliate, shave my legs, and apply lavish amounts of body lotion, as well as brush and floss my teeth.

10:00 a.m.: I pull on sweats and I'm about to get back in bed to write but I can't concentrate with wet hair, so it's time to blow-dry.

10:15 a.m.: Officially sitting in bed, propped up on three pillows, laptop in lap, cell phone on silent. I'm kind of hungry but it's too early for lunch. Check email one more time. And Facebook, because I got a wall post. I debate writing something on roommate's wall but can't think of anything super funny so I decide it's not worth it. (After all, I have an image to uphold.)

10:20 a.m.: I stare at my closet doors.

10:25 a.m.: And...I'm writing.

10:40 a.m.: I get an email. My phone is still on silent, but I keep it next to me, so when it blinks to signal I have a message, I can see it out of the corner of my eye.

10:45 a.m.: I'm writing. And answering email.

11:15 a.m.: Ok, now I am really hungry. I make a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich and bring it back to my bed on a green plate.

11:20 a.m.: I'm writing

11:45 a.m.: I get an email.

11:50 a.m.: Noticing how little work I have gotten done since waking up nearly five hours ago, I decide to write a blog post about what writers actually do. I'm also thinking about writing some more.