You Know You're a Writer When...

...(or I should say, I Know I'm a Writer When...")

1. My student came in to talk about his paper and we ended up spending the majority of the time on his cover letter for getting into a fraternity. Or, I should say, I spent the majority of the time scribbling and crossing out words, explaining each mark with unrestrained enthusiasm. It was the best part of my day.

2. Hearing my boyfriend tell me he thinks I'm a good writer makes me inner-swoon as well as love him more and find him more attractive.

3. A perfect day consists of the following: me, a pot of coffee, my manuscript, and a pen.

4. When bad things happen in my life, I tend to shoo away the negativity and focus solely on whether or not I can use these events as material. And how! (Ugh.)

5. My students' disdain for writing kinda makes me wanna cry sometimes. Especially as I explain how fun it is to go over an essay draft ten times and they look at me like they a) think I'm crazy or b) want to kill me.

6. Reading a poorly-written book is personally offensive. It's like thanks dude for getting published while I sit here toiling away, and being way better at this than you are, while you get to snuggle with your pretty little hardcover and be awesome.

7. It takes me a good hour to think of a Facebook status update. I keep a mental bank of go-to's.

8. I'm pissed that my cousin took my grandfather's father's typewriter from my grandparents' house--so her four-year-old son could use it (hopefully later in life and not now). I am willing to make a child cry to get that sweet, sweet instrument into my clutches.

9. Days after I've written a blog-post, I go back and edit it. I change words around. I take stuff out. I add stuff. I find typos (humiliating.) I do this even though I am 99.9% sure no one is going to re-read it. Because I find it fun. Yes, fun.