One-a Those Days ...

Do you ever have those days where you just want to lay in bed?
And you know you should be doing something, so you kinda troll around on the Internet purposelessly, all the while hating yourself for not actually being productive?
When you know you should be writing but nothing sounds like less fun than actually thinking?
When your friends call and see if you want to hang out but you can't convince yourself to peel back the covers?
And instead you eat left-over pasta feeling like a total fat-ass but you just can't stop eating crap so you fall into the eat, self-loathe, eat-more cycle?
But then you have moment of clarity and think, 'hey I should join a gym'?
And so you check to see if there is a 24-Hour Fitness near you and you discover that there are two, and decide, why not sign up for a whole year without even going in to check the facilities out first?
Because the one nearest you has a steamroom and you really like those?
And then you realize you just spent $250 to go to a place that people have reviewed online as 'disgusting'?
So you have to force yourself out of bed, put on workout clothes and drive over there?
And the first thing you think when you go inside is how you've fallen very far since your Equinox Pasadena days?
But then you justify your hesitation by noticing how nice the guy at the counter is?
Except that he doesn't offer to give you a tour (like the woman at Equinox did ...)?
And when you get into the locker room you almost smack right into a butt-naked woman?
And then you go on the elliptical for 30 minutes and feel like you're going to go into cardiac arrest the entire time?
And you really wanted to use the steamroom but you're too tired to even find it, and too lazy to ask, so you leave feeling like this whole gym idea was a waste of time?
And then you get home, shower, and put yourself right back under those covers?
And then you negate your 30 minute workout by eating Cheetos?
And then you try to write a blog post in second person questions?