My Younger, Wiser Self

We can either run from the past, or learn from it. When I am feeling unsure of myself, I root around my room for my old journals to either a) see how good I have it now, or b) get some wisdom from my younger self. (This is why I have my students write letters to themselves on the first day of the semester--and why I do it with them--we typically give ourselves the best advice). Anyway, I found this snippet I wrote on March 30, 2007, while I was living in New York. I moved home April 27, and was in the process of packing and saying goodbye to the city:

"It’s weird having life change, or rather, not having prescribed boxes to check. Middle school, high school, college...those were givens. I am navigating my own path now and I don’t want to look back and wish I had done more. I just have to do the best that I can, and be as happy as I can be, as much of the time as possible. Even though I'm sad that things between me and New York didn’t work out, I know that my decision was 100% the right one. No matter if [grad school at] USC doesn’t end up being amazing. No matter if Willie and I don’t work out. I have learned that right now, right here, [living in New York] is not for me. I may not know where I am going, but on the way there, I am continually learning what I need to be happy and secure. I may not always do the right thing, but I will be in a place eventually where I am satisfied. I just have to remember that. It’s not all going to happen right away…"

I kind of sound like that Whitesnake song from Old School--("I don't know where I'm going, but I sure know where I've been..." Totally listened to that in the car last night on full blast)--but the little smartie I was couldn't have been more right. I may be embarking on a new path, but I'm not alone. I have me. And, right now, I'm the only partner I need.