Wha-chu Say About Los Angeles?

...still the only place for me.

Thus begins Tupac Shakur's "Live and Die in L.A.," a song which seems to be my anthem, aside from all the fuss about race relations, considering I currently reside here, and, since I do like it an awful lot, chances are I will perish in this city as well.

But, you know what I don't like? People who complain. Specifically, people who complain about my city. And even more specifically, people who complain about my city even though they choose to live here and can totally leave if it sucks so bad. (Yeah, you think about it.)

What do people often say about Los Angeles and those of us who actually enjoy residing here? For one, that we can't drive in the rain. Did you know, lame-people-who-say-this, that the reason we freak out when it rains is because we know the roads are slicker when it hasn't rained in a long time? So when the first rainy day happens, we are more cautious, perhaps nervous that our shiny cars might get into accidents. Also, with the continuous sunshine, we forget what to do when it rains. Plus, you suck at driving, so shut-up. Yeah.

Oh, how about the "everyone's so fake" complaint? Ever heard of getting new friends? The only fake people you know are the people you know. Weird. And I can't forget the more nuanced complaint: all the girls here are so fake. If by fake you mean skinny and cute, I'm sorry, maybe try dieting and not eating so much cake. Or maybe get yourself a kick-ass metabolism that allows you to not diet and eat copious amounts of cake. Or just get some self-esteem.

I am not getting defensive at all here. By the way.

When I hear people bitch about L.A., I get mad. I don't even know why. I agree that we drive terribly in the rain (though, I believe that most people, no matter where they live, drive terribly in the rain, so that's not much of a concession). I agree that a lot of people here suck. Perhaps no more than other cities, but I'll admit that we do have a lot of actor-wannabes, movie-director-wannabes, and plain old wannabe-wannabes (these being the worst type, of course). And, sure, there's no reliable or preferable public transportation, our bars close at 1:30, and everything is so damn spread out that I could go months, maybe even years, without seeing close friends (thank you Facebook for allowing me to feel less guilty about this).

But this is Los Angeles. People fly from Germany and Japan and Australia and lots of other cool (and far-away) places to visit. And not just for one of our glorious 'hoods, but for Hollywood and Santa Monica and Beverly Hills and Pasadena. We've got the Walk of Fame, Blue Boy by Gainsborough, Muscle Beach, Venice Beach, the Queen Mary, Michael Jackson's grave, the Oscar red-carpet, sunsets in Malibu, emo-hipsters in Silverlake, celebrities in Bel Air, the La Brea Tar-pits, Griffith Observatory, a kick-ass basketball team, a pretty good baseball team, two sweet universities (That's only counting USC and, begrudgingly, UCLA), and--hello?--Disneyland.

So next time you want to complain, just think about that. Okay?