My Body is a Temple of Sugar

I need to seriously reconsider my eating habits.

Waking up this morning, I could swear I'd spent the previous night drinking like a champ. I must have also engaged in some sort of acrobatic behavior. A dull pain snarled through my low back. My head pounded. I hit the snooze at 7:30, 7:40 and 7:50 and reluctantly pushed the covers over at 8, my eyes convinced I was still sleeping.

I retraced the previous day: Interview for new TV website job (score!), transcribing said interview, office hours on campus, class, movie with JT, coffee shop to do some writing, in bed to do more writing, lights out at 1 a.m., asleep by 1:45? Nothing too crazy. Certainly nothing worthy of feeling like a truck sloshed over me during the night.

Then, I considered my food intake. It wasn't pretty:

Breakfast: Cereal and large cup of coffee

Snack: Chocolate croissant and large cup of coffee

Another snack: Chex Mix, root beer

Yet another snack (or could be considered dinner): Movie popcorn, fruit snacks, Hi-C punch (oh yeah, I got the Kids' Pack)

Oh, right, another snack, at midnight: Two Saltines, string cheese, left-over chicken tender, apple, cup of Lady Gray Tea

Huh.

Ok, what about Sunday? Surely I ate well that day. Nope: toast with butter, three pieces of bacon, hash browns, Starbucks' Mocha, Rice-Krispie Treat, See's Candies lollipop, bowl of pasta with vegetables (ok, that was good, I guess), two mini-packs of Sweet-Tarts.

Huh.

As I write this, I am still tired, downing a large cup of coffee before I run to teach. I've had an English Muffin with peanut butter and jelly and a mini-pack of trail mix. But, considering a bunch of us are going to Happy Hour before watching David Sedaris at Bovard tonight, I can tell these steps in the right direction are pretty much meaningless. It's not like I want to get fat. It's not like I don't know the way I eat makes me tired and crabby. I just can't stop eating crappy food. When I went to reach for the croissant yesterday, I knew I shouldn't do it. I knew it would only contribute to the small pooch just under my belly-button. I knew I'd regret it. But the little peak of chocolate ebbing through the flaky crust was too powerful for rationale to hold fast.

I'm thinking about cutting sweets and food-that's-bad-for-me cold turkey but I know I won't be able to do it. Deprivation only breeds cravings and I always listen to cravings. But maybe I can just be more aware? I forgot about those Sweet-Tarts on Sunday til I wrote them down. And two sodas yesterday?! Lifetime first!

I shall channel healthy. Or pretend I am in a spa. I never want to eat badly when I go to a spa. Maybe I need to slice up some cucumbers and put them in water or something. Very refreshing. Would go well with a croissant, don't you think?